You have a big sign on your head that says “I can fire you.” I’ve got one too. I learned about our signs by listening to the guys at Manager Tools. They do an amazing job of teaching non-managers how to manage (they talk to tech guys but they might as well be talking to lawyers).
The sign on your head makes everything you say and do, in your office, have an impact that it wouldn’t ordinarily have. Usually, the sign results in employees worrying about their job security. The sign isn’t helpful. It makes it hard to say things without lots of stuff getting read into your words.
First time they mentioned the sign I didn’t agree with them. I felt like I was the nicest guy in the world and that no one ever felt threatened by me.
But the more I thought about it and the more I talked about it with people I came to realize that I had the sign. I didn’t just have a simple, hand printed, black and white sign. I had a full color, giant, glowing, neon sign.
The whole idea of the sign is just foreign to me. I’m constantly forgetting about it. I was reminded of it last week as I rode the train home from Charlotte to Raleigh.
I was talking to one of our lawyers. She mentioned that some of the lawyers in our firm were discussing my recent visits to Charlotte. I’ve been going down there to spend time in that office because we have some new people and I want to get to know them. I also discovered how easy it is to take the train. I love the train and I’ve been going quite a bit.
These lawyers are worried about me being out of the Raleigh office. They were speculating about what I might be up to in Charlotte. I ride the train to Charlotte. They worry. It’s the sign.
I’m just riding the train and going out to lunch with people. Really, nothing sinister happening at all.
But, that big sign is flashing. It flashes even when I’m 150 miles away in Charlotte.
I don’t like it, but it’s there. As long as I keep running this firm it’s going to be there. It’s not my fault and it’s not your fault either. It’s just there. It’s part of being the boss and you can’t make it go away unless you quit.
The only thing you can do is accept the sign and recognize that you can’t behave badly. You can’t slip up. You can’t make a casual comment and fail to anticipate that you’re going to make waves.
It’s really, really hard for me to accept my sign. I say stupid things all the time. I talk off the top of my head. I make jokes I shouldn’t make. All of which results in me making a mess of things.
I hope you’re managing your sign better than I am. I’m going to have to keep a sign on my desk reminding me of the sign on my head. Hopefully, I’ll do a bit better with it than I have in the past.
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Lee Rosen has practiced family law for more than twenty years. With three offices, 