Does Your Mediator Stink?

tableDoes your mediator stink?

Here’s a simple test to determine if your mediator knows how to mediate. It involves one question. Answer the question, score your test and if your mediator stinks then find a new mediator.

What time did the mediation end?

Note – this test only applies if the mediation started before lunch. If it started after lunch then you’ll have to do some math to compensate for the late start. Also, if you have a complicated case involving a multi-day mediation, the test applies only to the final day of the mediation.

Now, lets socre the test.

Score sheet:

_____ Mediation was over before 5 PM and the case was resoved – you have a great mediator.

_____ Mediation ended between 5 PM and 6 PM – you have a pretty good mediator.

_____ Mediation ended between 6 PM and 7 PM – you’re mediator is questionable.

_____ Mediation ended after 7 PM and the case was resolved – your mediator sucks.

_____ Mediation ended after 7 PM and the case was not resolved – your mediator really, really sucks.

Mediators that finish their cases, resolved or not, after 7 PM are relying on the parties getting hungry and tired – that’s their primary dispute resolution skill. That’s not good enough. Mediators should be trained in conflict resolution. They should be digging deep. They should know that the “issue is not the issue” and be adding value to the lives of the parties and helping them find a new way of dealing with one another.

If the mediator’s toolkit has just one tool (hungry and tired) then they need to go back to mediator class and listen this time. Some mediators will argue that they shouldn’t be judged by how quickly they resolve disputes. I’m not judging them by that standard. If they need more time they should simply continue the mediation on another day when the parties are rested and fed.

Of course, this analysis doesn’t apply every time, in every case, but, if your mediator is consistently wrapping up after dark then it’s time to find a new mediator.

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  • http://negotiationlawblog.com Vickie Pynchon

    As a mediator, I hear you about the time. If a mediator uses a party’s exhaustion or hunger in order to broker a deal, the mediator is not simply a “one trick pony,” he or she is violating one of the fundamental principles of mediation — party self-determination. I take your complaint quite seriously as a mediator because I hear complaints from clients (not their attorneys) on a regular basis that they feel as if they were coerced into settlement by all manner of pressure tactics. It is the mediator’s job to help the parties come to their own best solution while appealing to their better angels and best thinking. Twelve-step programs tell their members that they should avoid making simple decisions, let alone life-altering ones, if they are Hungry Angry Lonely or Tired (HALT). If you feel that your mediator is using two of these susceptibilities against you, speak up immediately. YOU are in charge. That’s what makes ALTERNATIVE dispute resolution an alternative: the voice and choice is yours.

    • Lee Rosen

      Vickie,

      Thanks for your comment and your feedback. It’s nice to hear from the mediation guru and I know that if you agree, I’ve written something that makes sense (for a change).

      Lee

      P.S. for those of you who don’t know Vickie you should spend some time on her site – Settle It Now – great stuff.

  • http://westallen.typepad.com/brains_on_purpose Stephanie West Allen

    Hi, Lee. I think the “right” way to conduct a mediation depends on so many factors. Time is just one of them. A mediator with a true belief in the parties’ right and responsibility to resolve the dispute would be checking in with them to see whether or not they wanted to continue at that time. More important, timing should be addressed when the parties create their groundrules. And I firmly believe the parties should establish the groundrules; the mediator should not impose his or her groundrules on them. In my experience, each set of groundrules will vary according to the mediation as will the appropriate timing.

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